Otis Funkmeyer, The Ph.D. of Popping

So, I’m feeling chipper this evening. The past week has been an unmitigated success. I have gotten up around 9AM regularly and am going to sleep earlier. I found out my friend could channel and that’s amazing. Also, it appears that Elastic Illusion has completely fallen apart. I think that whole post on shining was a little prophetic if you know what I mean, because it looks like I’m about to strike out on my own and press my luck. I feel good about the whole thing. I find myself being somewhat unsentimental. I don’t know if this is because deep down, I am a hustler a la Jay-Z, always running, always on my toes, ready to make a dash, or if I’m just a pretty happy-go-lucky person. Either way, it’s all good. I’m moving to Brooklyn in January and it feels like the theatre and the street is calling my name. I’m itching to perform again after having spent a year behind a computer and New York is the place for live performance.

Anyway, I wrote that post about realizing I was a talker and it really struck a chord in me. Watching this group fall apart really was like seeing someone die for me. I really thought that was no hurry and that Elastic Illusion was the second coming of the Beatles and that we would be together for 50 years and all would be well and there were no worries and no warning signs and then it all just came collapsing down. The realization that has hit me the most is like “WOW! You’re out here on your own kid! Put up or shut up!” And all I want to do is put up. I have even been doing little productivity things like not reading blogs and only checking e-mail twice a day and things of that nature. I’ve really just been focused on working.

I learned from a little birdie that if you plan something, tell someone about it, write it down, and then do it, it takes four times as long as if you had just done it. Now, this logic obviously doesn’t apply in all situations, but I have found that for things like paying bills, cleaning, updating websites, all the minutia of our lives, not only does it work, but it sets a tone of knocking things out that builds on itself. Just knock it out, just knock it out becomes a mantra of sorts.

And so I think that this is a part of my own maturation. I was always the smartest kid. Everything in our society has come easily to me. I was always the best in school and I didn’t even have to work hard to do so. And this set up some pretty bad work ethics. School makes everything about getting by. Hey, why put in the extra effort, I already have an A in the class. I’ll just let it slide. The problem with this is that in life, as an artist, there’s no A. You can’t let something slide because the only person you’re hurting is YOU.

Our entire socialization process encourages us to “get by.” To be a pretty good student, to show up and do the work, get a B, get a job, get by, maybe get a promotion, just show up. Well, that ain’t workin’ for me no more. I have so many things I want to do, so much I want to express, so much I want to share with the world. So much encouragement and love I want to give. And I am fully awake now. By this, I mean that all of the illusions I have had in the past about shortcuts and easy money and quick fame and being discovered and being entitled to an easy path are dispelled. I am down for the cause and I am willing to work my ass off to make this all happen.

And I am finding more and more everyday that the more I stop thinking and stop trying and stop worrying and just start doing, just MAKE the damn video, just MAKE the damn song, just WRITE the damn article, just TAKE OUT the damn trash, just PAY the damn taxes, just keep your nose to the grindstone and focused on the one thing you are currently doing, that it all happens more quickly than you might have imagined.

As Abraham (the channel, not the OG circumciser) says, relax. Realize you’re NEVER going to get it done. You are ALWAYS going to be evolving. That’s the whole point. That’s why life never stops being interesting. Because it’s always changing and you’re always changing and there’s always a new opportunity to explore something new or face a new challenge or expand yourself in a new direction. So you can just stay focused, one thing at a time, and keep on keepin’ on.

Now that’s gangsta.

Tags: productivity, doing, talking, living, fully, business, human development

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So, it was revealed to me tonight that I’m just a talker. My biggest pet peeve. The thing I dislike most. And it’s what I do. I talk and talk and talk and talk. Big plans, huge things going on. Making this, creating that. Lots of writing, lots of words. Lots of meetings, lots of discussion. Lots of costume purchases, lots of ideas. Lots of website designs, lots of catchphrases. Lots of dreaming, lots of visualizing. And when it all comes down to it, I’ve made 1 robot video. That’s it.

Granted, this is far more than many people ever make, but you know what. Big whoop. I thought I was a visionary, a luminary. Doing big things, walking the walk. And yet, here I am, writing again. More talking, more words. Wow, this one just hit me so hard because the truth was written all over the place.

In most ways, whatever Elastic Illusion was supposed to be has for the time being completely fallen apart. Over a year of dreams and it’s quite possible that nothing will ever come of it. So much talking, so much planning. And in one sense, it amounted to nothing. Yes, I learned a lot. Yes, it was a good experience. Yes, I grew. But at the end of the day, there isn’t a whole hell of a lot to show in terms of action.

So, I renounce it. Time for doing. Time for some real action. And when I think about it, I realize how scary it is to actually do things. I made a whole hour-long one man show and performed it all of twice. Spent six months making it, slaving day in and day out, and less than 100 people have ever seen it. I mean, good for me, I did it. Big woop. More talking. I learned After Effects and Photoshop and Illustrator and Ableton Live in the past six months. What have I got to show for it. A DVD case and some random designs. Wow. I am what I despise. Just another talker, talking about all the things he is going to do. How special he is. All his great ideas.

And so I admit it now. I am terrified that my ideas actually suck. That I won’t be able to bring them to fruition. That they will be derivative and formulaic and just kind of average. I am so afraid of being mediocre that I have done nothing at all.

Well, here goes nothing. Time to fall flat on my face, over and over and over. Let the games begin.

Tags: talking, action, taking action, doing, working hard, delusions

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There’s so much talk these days about how anyone is ever going to be able to monetize online video. YouTube continues to burn up the charts, with more people watching it than watching TV at this point. But very few people, other than Google, are making any money off all this watching.

So everyone sits around pontificating. How are we going to turn the eyeballs into cold-hard digital numbers that flash across our screen, allowing us to waive cards through scanners that allow us to receive goods and services (i.e. cash)? And everyone talks endlessly about online advertising. It’s the way of the future in case you didn’t know. It’s the second coming of Jesus. And to this I say, I agree.

But.

There’s another way. A good way. A way that I am currently using to make a living and a way which is growing every month in scale, scope, and possibility. And that is, charging for digital downloads of online video.

This has been to many people something left unconsidered. I mean, who in their right mind pays for something they can watch for free? To which I say, over a thousand people and counting. Now, to a record label, a thousand people might as well be no one, but to me, that’s rent money plus some Thai food to boot. And like I said, it’s growing.

So I think about this a lot. Monetizing online video. And I think I’ve come to some pretty exciting new understandings about how to make it work.

It involves a few basic prerequisites:

1) You have to be selling something that people would at least *consider* paying for. This rules out most comedy videos I think, but most other things, including instructional videos, short films, and music videos, are all kosher.

2) You have to foster an environment where the potential buyer thinks of you as “one of them,” as an artist trying something new, just trying to share your work with the world.

3) You have to make it *really* easy to buy. No long checkout screens with a bunch of login forms. Think, paypal.

4) You have to make buying seem fun.

5) You have to make things that are good, at least to someone. And that part’s pretty easy, because with 6 billion people, it’s not hard to find a thousand who think just about anything is good.

With these in mind, we come to my little coup de grace. The thing that makes it all work nicely.

You create extended versions of your content. All your content.

If this is a music video, the extended version includes an mp3 of the song as well as the video.

If this is an instructional video, the extended version contains an extra lesson, an extended section, or more in-depth info.

If this is a short film, the extended version includes a commentary, or behind-the-scenes footage, of bloopers, or a longer sequence.

So let’s sum that up in this way.

6) You have to make the people feel like they’re getting something *extra* to JUSTIFY their laying out money for something that many people would consider an unnecessary purchase.

When you put all these things together, and you combine the technical expertise to actually implement these ideas, you’re well on your way to turning YouTube videos into a career. Add online advertising to the mix, and you’re gonna surprise the haters mang!

Let’s ride.

Tags: monetization, online video, web 2.0, sales, business

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This is a paper I wrote in 1997. HAHHAHAHAHA.

Brit Wolfson
Advanced English and Research
February 13, 1997
Paper #1

The Internet: Revolution or just a Fad?

    Turn on the television, read the newspaper, or even go into town, and you’re likely to hear someone talking about how they just got wired, hooked-up, or jacked-in to the reputed “Information Superhighway”, also known as the Internet. The many ways that the Internet will affect our lives in the future, be it financial, economic, or even cultural will probably be expounded. However, in the present, the Internet seems to be most commonly used for getting new information on the latest computer, downloading the hottest game, or viewing sometimes-illegal pornography. This problem grows daily, as more and more people buy computers, the third most expensive purchase (behind a house and a car) that most families make, hoping to use the Internet to better their lives. And as the moans made by MSSM students futilely trying to use this “resource” for research attest, the results are mixed at best.
   
This problem, and the Internet itself, began in 1963, when the RAND Corporation was hired to design a system by which US authorities could communicate after a nuclear war. Called the ARPANet, the system became used extensively by the early 1970s, mainly by the Army, scientists, and universities. By 1980, the system had grown larger than anyone could have expected. It was then replaced by the modern Internet, an open, unregulated network without the military backbone, which would only serve to hinder. After this deregulation of sorts, the number of users on the network doubled yearly, reaching what is estimated to be over 10 million users currently online.

By now, sides have been drawn on the issue of whether the Internet is the pathway to a revolution. Leading the proponents are Larry Ellison, CEO Oracle Inc.; Scott McNealy, CEO Sun MicroSystems Inc.; Mark Andreesen, Netscape Inc.; and most prominently, Bill Gates of Microsoft. These four men, and millions of others, believe that the Internet is the future, and that the future is very promising. In The Road Ahead, Gates states that “things never thought possible [including] virtual reality systems in the classroom hooked up to the Internet will be possible within years at the current rate technology is progressing.”
The overlying thought of these proponents is that in approximately 10 years, computer technology will be affordable enough so that everyone will own at least one computer. When this occurs, and the entire population is connected to the Internet, paper money and “real stores” will be made obsolete, as a unified cybercash system, along with virtual storefronts will be used to make purchases online. And when homework needs to be done, one will be able to use an online virtual teacher to aid their studies. This future most importantly eliminates have-nots, or those people who do not have access to excellent technology and education, creating a socially utopian society.

On the other side of the argument lay those who fear that “every hour you are behind the keyboard is sixty minutes you are not doing something else.”  These detractors of the Internet include prominent computer author Clifford Stoll, former CEO of 3COM Inc., Robert O’Donnel, and MIT professor Stuart Madnick. Madnick lucidly presents one problem inherent in the Internet, when he writes:
[Context can vary in three ways.] First, due to geographical differences, that is, the way things are interpreted in the U.S. is different from that in England, France or China. [Second, there are function differences.] Different function areas interpret and use information differently. [Third, there are organizational differences.] For example, the way in which Citibank might define a credit rating could be different from the way Chase does.
What Madnick is stating here is that different ways of interpreting information cause major problems in organizations and society. These problems could damage the viability of the Internet commercially, which would damage its overall usefulness profoundly.
    Another problem, in the technical realm, is the lack of bandwidth, or connection speed, for the ever-increasing number of “netizens”. According to Walter Elliot, this can, and even now does cause major slowdowns, which decrease productivity, and increase frustration. However, this annoyance could become a crisis if it is not quickly remedied. To do this requires the replacement of the current copper-wire telephone cable with digital fiber-optic cable. According to AT&T, this process will take at least 15 years.
   
    Because of this urgent bandwidth problem and the problems facing the Internet as a whole, an ingenuous resolution is needed immediately if the Internet is to be the Information Superhighway it has the potential to be. If one isn’t quickly discovered, the service providers, many of whom have put their life savings into their respective ventures, will be ruined. Yet, this is just a small facet of the problems that will be caused. The people who have spent up to three thousand dollars on a computer will feel like they just bought a very expensive doormat, and the thousands employed by those with a stake in the Internet may be out of work. And with Wall Street making record gains daily because of tech stocks, the aforementioned problem could turn into a disaster, with major economic and social repercussions.

    The Internet has the potential to do two things: create a time of unparalleled social and economic prosperity, or create a time of unparalleled social and economic depression. Its benefits on paper look great: a classless, paperless society, deplete of have-nots, and an amazing wealth of organized information. But in reality, these benefits are still on paper, and the problems at times seem to number as many as the benefits. These problems, such as network slowdowns and different ways of interpreting information, could lead to failure. A resolution to this ever-increasing problem is needed now. One thing though is for sure. Either way, the world will never be the same again.

Tags: internet, revolution, fad, paper, essay, high school

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VV and I had another meeting to discuss the direction we want to go in with our web show “Craq” today. We had already written a 10-episode outline and have written the script, shot, and edited much of the first episode already. All of this was done in a very let’s just take this idea and run with it sort of manner, and now, as always seems to happen, we have been left alone in the editing room, cursing our fate, wishing we had created a more detailed script.

So like any young up-and-comer worth his salt, I decided that it was time to re-think, re-envision, and re-vise the current gameplan, and to really think about where we want to head with this. This conversation ended up becoming a really fascinating look into one of the directions media is heading, as time and space fracture around us, and all illusions of linearity fade into the night.

We decided that we really want to make the show holographic in nature. To us, this means that we want someone to be able to watch any episode in any order. In order for this to work, each episode has to be fully developed structurally, with its own introduction, development, and conclusion. In addition, this means letting go of things like episode numbering and season finales. As far as I know, this kind of structure has never really been attempted, but it does seem like sitcoms often work like this. Each episode you watch works on its own, without needing to know too much about what happened before or what might happen later.

The difference here is that we are attempting to do this with a dramatic story, which usually requires the story to be heading somewhere. I really have no idea if this style will work, but for me, the adventure is worth the risk of falling flat on my face.

I also am partial to this idea because I think it’s more true to life. Life is not a linear narrative. It is messy and layered and it goes in circles. I think that this move away from linearity is happening all around us. In the way we consume media, in the way careers and relationships shift, we’re collectively opening our eyes that the structure we have relied on for so many eons is nothing more than a giant illusion. For that reason, I feel that if a compelling story is created, and each episode has an addictive quality where the viewer wants to continue to dive deeper, the idea could really work nicely. It’s like creating an alternate universe where you are welcome to get as involved as you like.

At the same time, we are thinking that without a central narrative, without anything to hold it together, the show won’t be about anything, and the pull to keep watching will gradually fade. Thus, in keeping with our own personal predilections, the story will revolve around a series of events leading up to a group of people having face-to-face contact with aliens at Burning Man 2012.

Aside from that, each episode will revolve around the characters populating our world, whose destinies will align in our near future. I have also proposed using different actors to play the same character at times, because I think logistically, we aren’t going to be in the same city for the amount of time that the show could run for. In order to not completely lose the viewers, I thought it might be possible to have a specific piece of costuming attached to each character. For instance, one would always wear a red hat, no matter which actor was playing that character, while another would always have a white bow-tie. Something along those lines. I think it is quite possible that this idea is crazy and will not work at all, but for me, this show is about trying new things, breaking boundaries, or realizing that there’s a reason certain boundaries exist.

More from the front shortly!

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How To Pop Volume 6: The Ultimate Popping Workout

• Concepts: The Importance of Muscle Isolation
• Scientifics: Identifying Isolations
• Routine: The Workout
• Personal: How I Discovered This Workout

Now I just have to remember to rename everything with a marketing hook.

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It is a big step for me to finally stand up and be counted and make videos of myself. I feel nervous and very ready. I have been preparing for this moemnt and I feel that this will begin a gigantic surge in creativity–really taking it to the next level for myself.

So I’m going to take this opportunity to get started and write up the contents of the first 5 videos that I will release.

How To Pop volume 1: The Very Basics

• Scientifics: Popping the Legs
• Scientifics: Popping the Arms
• Move: The Fresno
• Scientifics: Popping the Chest
• Move: The Walkout
• Scientifics: Popping the Neck
• Move: The Twist-o-Flex
• Concept: Stay on the Beat
• Move: The Old Man
• Scientifics: The Boogaloo Roll
• Choreography: The Original Fresno Routine
• Choreography: Fresno, Boogaloo Roll, Walkout
• Discussion: Dance History
• Personal: My Dance History

How to Pop Volume 2: The Fun Stuff

• Move: The Moonwalk
• Scientifics: Liquid
• Move: The Arm Wave
• Scientifics: Finger Tuts
• Move: The Box
• Scientifics: Isolating the Head
• Personal: Dancing and Tricks
• Move: The Float Walk
• Concepts: Incorporating Movements
• Move: The Cyclone

How to Pop Volume 3: Arms & Hands

• Scientifics: Toy Man
• Scientifics: Old School Tutting
• Move: Liquid Box
• Move: The Wall
• Concepts: Practice Both Sides
• Move: Finger Tut Climber
• Routine: Wave Set
• Routine: Tutting
• Scientifics: Vibrating & Animating
• Scientifics: Snaking

How to Pop Volume 4: Boogaloo

• Scientifics: Boogaloo Head Roll
• Scientifics: Boogaloo Chest Roll
• Scientifics: Shoulder Rolls
• Scientifics: Hip Rolls
• Scientifics: Knee Rolls
• Concept: Sitting in the Pocket
• Scientifics: Lurching & Crumping
• Move: Egyptian Twist
• Concept: Infinite Possibilities
• Personal: A Boogaloo Love Letter
• Groove: Party Dance

How To Pop Volume 5: Feet

• Move: Boogaloo Hop
• Concepts: Heel-Toe Possibilities
• Move: The Side Float
• Move: The Side Glide
• Scientifics: Sinking your Weight
• Concepts: Pivoting
• Move: Neck-o-Flex
• Move: The REAL Moonwalk
• Personal: Being Light on Your Feet
• Scientifics: The Ball of Your Feet
• Move: The Shamrock

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Amazon.com: My Beats Are So Hard They Make Rocket Science Look Easy: MP3 Downloads: Elastic Illusion

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For the past few weeks, some issues which have sort of been festering in my group have risen to the surface. How much work is being put in by this one, how much that one wants it, which one is really willing to sacrifice. And I am realizing more and more, that at least on my part, this has a lot to do with that familiar fear of shining so bright.

Ever since I built up the courage to start dancing, eventually being willing to call myself a “dancer,” I have battled a fear of not being good enough. I have worried that I was never going to get to a point where I was finally capable of dancing well. I have been afraid that I was not yet READY to shine. My skills were not there YET. I hadn’t YET paid enough dues. Some time LATER this magical event would occur, and my life would be transformed.

Well, fast forward a year past the point when my skills are definitely there, where I have paid a lot of dues, and still I’m finding it difficult to shine. One of the ways that this has manifested for me is by doing work for other people–producing other people’s work and facilitating other people’s dreams.

This fear is a tricky one. It can manifest in a lot of ways that on the surface seem perfectly reasonable. You might be working on your instrument and you get a great job as a music writer. I mean, you DO love music. Isn’t that GREAT? Maybe, but it’s just as likely that it’s just a better-built mousetrap and that you are sublimating your true desires to do something that’s ALMOST as good.

So to stop beating around the bush, I have this group making dance videos and the only person who hasn’t released a video is me. I made the websites, I edited the videos, I designed some cases, I found the distribution channels, I uploaded the videos, I sent them to YouTube, I made the music, I enabled digital downloads, I wrote the marketing copy and the website information. I did it all. But I did it for someone else.

Now, I had a few reasons for doing this. Perfectly reasonable. The others couldn’t do it for themselves. Just do it for them first and then take care of yourself. Test the distribution on other people’s stuff first. Make other people’s videos as a tool for learning. They’re video will sell better. They’re more charismatic. They’re more. They’re better.

At the core, those are the reasons. They’re more. They’re better. They can’t take care of themselves. I’m scared to do it for myself.

I’m scared to do it for myself. And I am. I’m scared to shine. I’m scared that I will either fall flat on my face and release a video that sucks or that I will be so good that I will outshine other people and make them feel bad because they wanted to be the ones who shined.

Either way, the fears both serve to paralyze me from releasing my own video. And I have fairly skillfully done this. But it’s all ready now. The distribution system is working. My editing skills, design skills, and marketing skills are up to par. There’s no reason other than fear to hold back.

And so I’m left face to face with that fear. I am afraid of putting out a dance video and being seen as a sellout. I am afraid of being seen as a wack dancer. I am afraid of being seen as unfit to teach. I am afraid of being the best dance teacher anyone has ever seen and making other people jealous. I am afraid that they’re gonna see me as nerdy. I am afraid that I’m too white. I am afraid that my video won’t be of a high enough quality.

So. There it is. My reasons not to shine. I am going to begin scripting and storyboarding my first DVD today.

10 lessons:
Popping the Arms
Popping the Legs
Popping the Neck
Popping the Back
The Fresno
The Twistoflex
The Masterflex
The Walkout
The Old Man
The Boogaloo Roll

I want to say that I’m thankful for this opportunity to see a whole new side of myself. To gain a new perspective. This is one of those deep-seated fears. At the same time, this fear has really allowed me to grow in a lot of different areas, while avoiding the one I truly wanted to experience growth in. So, while I wasn’t performing, I was learning video editing, graphic design, web design, marketing, and so on. So it wasn’t a total wash, as I’m sure it never is.

I think that this is another one of those things that’s really going to come to the forefront for many people as we move into an era of empowerment, where fewer and fewer people are satisfied living a “pretty good” life, working a “pretty good” career, or remaining in a “pretty good” relationship.

So I hope that my experience can be of some use to you in yours!

Na-na-namaste.

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So I shot the first episode of my web show “CRAQ” today and it was so exciting. Finishing up the script. Going out to shoot. Working with the talent. Checking the lighting. Getting pickup shots. Oh it’s so fun. Yay life is so grand.

And then it happened.

Got an email that implied that my group Elastic Illusion could be falling apart before my very eyes. Then imported the footage we shot today into Final Cut Pro and it took two hours to get it into the computer properly. Then we realized that much of the audio was barely useable at best. Then VV and I started fighting about what direction we should go in with editing.

The whole shmbobbery here, it’s all because of my expectations that making art would be easy this time. I always think it. Every time. I think it over and over and over and over. That this time I have finally figured out the shortcut. That this time I have finally prepared enough and that the process will be simple and will flow smoothly and will lead to great joy and accolades.

And yet over and over and over and over, I end up frustrated, on the verge of tears, wondering how this possibly could have happened again. How come it’s so hard? How come it takes so long to edit a video? How come Final Cut Pro is so unwieldy? How come the audio isn’t perfect the first time? How come syncing sound is such a time-consuming process.

And what I do not want to write, what I do not want to say, is that I have to accept this. I do NOT want to accept this. I want to release a video everyday. I want to make things with great speed. I want to shoot and shoot and vomit ideas and creativity and joy and wonder. And yet I keep hitting this roadblock.

So you know what. I am going to accept it. I am going to accept this as a learning curve. I am going to accept that filmmaking is without question the most difficult and frustrating endeavor that I have ever made. It’s like dance times 10 or math times 100.

But I will not give up. I see the light. I know what I want to be doing. The vision is clear to me. Make a great video, a GREAT video, everyday. Pre-production, shooting, and post. One day. That’s the life for me.

Until then, may God give me the patience to accept the curve and the courage to get over the hump.

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